Me: "Sir, this area’s restricted to employees."
Customer: "I just needed directions to the home goods section."
Me: "…You mean the section you passed, to get here? Home goods is literally the section on the other side of that staff-only door."
Sister: "I'd like seventy of [fish]."
So, the net goes in and right into the bag. Well, my sister looks and goes:
Sister: "That's not seventy."
So, the store employee looks at my sister and goes:
Employee: "Okay."
They dump the little guys back into the tank and then place one in the net and into the bag.
Customer: "I left a sandwich here yesterday. Was it handed into your lost and found?"
Me: "…Sorry, you left a sandwich?"
Customer: "Yeah. Turkey club, no tomato, extra mayo. I ordered it around 1 PM, but I got a phone call, had to leave fast. I left it on the table, right over there."
Guest: "Why has the sun gone in?! I'm trying to get a suntan and there's no sun!"
Me: "Oh, it's been like that all day. Just give it a few minutes, it seems like it's coming and going a bit today."
Guest: "That's not good enough! It's freezing out there! I'm paying an extortionate amount of money to stay here!"
Unbeknownst to me, the company I used to work for goes under a few months after I quit. I don't realize this until tax time rolls around and I haven't gotten my W-2 form, and I look up the company. My wife and I are unsure how to proceed, so we take our forms to a professional to file them for us. It doesn't go well, and it begins a long, long journey of trying to get our tax refund.
t's late afternoon. I’m restocking shelves near the entrance when a barefoot couple strolls in. Barefoot, as in shoes in hand, toes proudly on tile.
Me: "Excuse me, but could you please wear your shoes while in the store?"
Woman Customer: "We’ve been walking all day. You don’t mind if we just air out while we shop."
I notice [New Hire] pointedly avoiding conversation with people I saw her speaking to on the previous night. The fourth night, she marches up to me before the shift starts and accuses me of harbouring a bunch of prejudiced jerks.
Tech: "Let me check ONE more thing..." *Looks at my wireless connection.* "Which wi-fi is yours?"
Me: "We live on an acre of land, all of the wi-fi connections you see are ours."
Tech: "Okay, so your VPN is attempting to connect to "TINECO-300LVL", is that your main wi-fi?"
Me: *Realization slowly dawns.*
Me: "I don't feel compelled to be polite towards people who act like trash."
It was a stupid move, but I was literally at my breaking point.
Suddenly, the HR person pulls out a file and puts it on the desk.
HR Guy: "[Me], you're single, right?"
I'm working the pharmacy counter when a woman in her early twenties steps up to the pharmacy window.
Customer: "Hi, yeah, do you have, like… Plan B? But, you know… for before?"
Me: "For before… you get pregnant?"
I am a spouse/dependent under my husband’s health insurance. For whatever reason, the insurance company doesn’t issue separate insurance cards for dependents – they just send two cards, both with my husbands name on it. I am at this eye doctor’s office for the first time, and they are extremely busy. It appears that an […]
Girl #1: "Hi! We are here on behalf of [Nature Foundation] to preserve the natural environment around [our location] for our children and future generations. Do you have kids?"
Me: "No, I don't."
Girl #2: "But surely you like kids and are invested in their future!"
Me: "Nope, I don't. Try again."
A customer is holding up the line that I'm in. She’s halfway through her transaction but keeps pausing to tell long, winding stories to the cashier, who’s nodding politely while scanning her items as fast as possible.
The customer then glances behind her at the growing queue that I am in, and has the audacity to snappily say:
Customer: "This line is ridiculous. Don’t you people know how to move faster?"
I’m working a checkout lane in our large clothing store (multiple floors) when a woman comes through with a toddler in a cart. She dumps two pairs of leggings on the counter, rummages through her purse, then freezes.
Customer: "Oh! I forgot the socks. Hold these, I’ll be right back."
She pushes the cart, with her toddler still strapped in, to the side and vanishes into the store.
My boss is always going above and beyond to help out. Now this wouldn’t be so weird if it applied to everyone, but it seemed he was willing to go above and beyond for female employees. His male employees were encouraged to figure things out for themselves and "build some character."
Me: "You cannot claim him on your taxes."
Client: *Extremely upset.* "I wanted you to cite a specific passage in tax law saying that my son can't be claimed!"
Me: "There isn't a specific passage; there are about six passages scattered across four different sections."
My mother and I are talking about the mid to late 80s / early 90s - when I was three to nine years old - when she mentions the family who lived across the street from us, the Madigans.
Me: "The... Madigans?"
Mom: "Yes?"
Me: *Muttering.* "No wonder you always tried to correct me when I called them the Mannequins."
At one store, I was simply looking at some clothes when I overheard a guy say:
Guy: "Man, why do people look at skimpy clothes when they clearly don’t have the body for it?"
Customer: "Hey, can you guys charge these up real quick?"
Me: "Those are disposable."
Customer: "Yeah, but they’re not done yet. I just need a top-up. You must have a charger in the back?"
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