Neighbor: "I wanna talk to you about the smoke coming from your chimney."
Friend: "What about it?"
Neighbor: "Well, it's drifting over to my house and causing my family breathing problems."
Without warning, I get a call from my boss asking if I can help with an urgent ticket for a client who previously banned the current on-call tech. As a contract-to-hire employee hoping to score brownie points, I reluctantly agree.
I often get calls by customers that have problems with their american made motorcycles ranging from major problems to minor inconveniences. The problem with the whole thing is that most people don’t manage to explain the problems in a way that I can guess what it might be. More than once the following conversation has […]
Teacher: "What is larger, 1/2 or 1/3?"
Student: "Three is more than two, so 1/3 is larger."
The teacher drew two circles on the board, divided one into two and the other into three parts.
Teacher: "Which is bigger?"
I once had a very toxic manager who liked to keep people uncomfortable. One of the milder stories: let’s say her name was Mallory Ella-Louise Surname. She always signed off emails as MEL, initials of her given names. During a meeting soon after she had started, someone referred to her as ‘Mel’, as per her […]
We went to Walt Disney World for my birthday fourteen years ago. My mom and I went to order lunch. Since I have really bad social anxiety and it was my first time eating there, my mom ordered my food. Chef (to me, even though I was standing right next to my mom): What are […]
My dad was an elementary school principal for about 30 years. For 4 of those years, I was a student at his school. This made things a little awkward at times. All of the teachers, of course, knew of our relationship so I knew I couldn’t get away with anything. In one way this didn’t […]
No matter how you paint it, people are disgusting, but some are more disgusting than others and I can’t wrap my head around how they’re still alive. Usually once a year my company does a pizza party for all the employees. 60+ first shift employees get their own and then the 40 or so second […]
My great aunt is absolutely something else. Her grandson (the only grandchild that turned out okay) recently died young due to complications with diabetes. He left behind a wife and their small daughter and the widow is 1. Grieving over the loss of her husband and 2. Stressed due to medical bills and the fact […]
The same people tried to come in the next week and sat in my section. I refused to serve them and explained the situation to a different head manager. He personally cooked their food, did most of the serving, and they still tried to get their meal for free. He banned them.
Customer: "I want a refund."
My Mom: "Sir, this is a craft store."
Customer: "And I want a refund!"
My Mom: "We don't sell BBQs… because it's a craft store. You must have got mixed up about what store you're at."
Me: "Uh… ma'am, this isn't going to work."
Customer: "It's a credit card."
Me: "It's not laminated or embossed. In fact, if I were to guess, I'd say this was printed out on a home color printer."
Fandom: The LEGO Movie Pairings/Characters: Finn, The Man Upstairs Rating: Gen Content Notes: No AO3 Warnings Apply Length: 735 words Creator Links:AO3 profile Theme: Inept in Love
Summary: A brief fic focusing on Finn and The Man Upstairs after the events of the first movie.
Reccer's Notes: This is a simple, effective story about Finn and his father repairing their relationship, and reflecting on the story Finn created and what it meant to them both. I always found the implications of what their father-son relationship is like in the first movie really interesting, so it was nice to find a fic that delved into it.
Manager: "I'm trying to do your annual reports. I want to give both you and [other lead] 'Exceeds Expectations', but I have to justify it. [AVP] says she asked me for this a while ago, and I really don't remember that; that's on me, but I just haven't been here long enough to know."
Caller: "Hey, you got any spare empty Xbox boxes?"
Trying to avoid this becoming a tongue twister, I say carefully:
Me: "We sell Xboxes, not just the… uh… boxes."
Caller: "Nah, I just need the box. I want to prank my kid and give him an empty box."
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