A man in cargo shorts and a tank top charges up to the front, sweat already soaking through his shirt.
Customer: "Don’t tell me you’re out of AC units!"
Me: "I wish I weren’t, but we’ve been cleared out since this morning."
Clueless Coworker: "Wait… do toasters actually work by heating up the bread? Not microwaving it?"
There’s a short silence.
Coworker #1: "No, they just stare at it until it gets uncomfortable enough to crisp."
It’s a Friday night, and the bar’s packed with tourists fresh off the slots. A man slaps a twenty on the counter and grumbles as I make his old-fashioned.
Customer: "Eighteen bucks? For this? That’s robbery!"
[New Hire] started on a Tuesday. By Wednesday, we had a betting pool going on how long they’d last, not out of cruelty, but because no one had ever met someone so aggressively unequipped to function in a grocery store.
It’s my last day at this fast-food joint after two years of minimum wage and maximum patience. Luckily for me today, HE walks in, our personal legend of entitlement, the ultimate a**hole customer.
I was waiting for my cookie order at Crumbl. Out of nowhere, this woman with a stroller comes up to me. Mind you, she had, like, 4 or 5 kids with her. Woman: Do you want to move so I can park my stroller? I moved because I usually tend to avoid confrontation in public […]
Female Manager: "[Sexist Coworker], we’re low on lettuce, go refresh the prep station."
[Sexist Coworker] just shrugs. A few hours later, [Female Manager] is checking on us, and it's apparent that [Sexist Coworker] hasn't done a thing. When challenged on this:
Sexist Coworker: "If [Male Manager] wants me to do it, he can tell me."
I’m scanning groceries for a young mom and her son, who looks about six. He’s eagerly unloading items from the cart onto the belt, a loaf of bread, a bag of apples, a can of beans… and then, quietly, a candy bar from the impulse buy section.
Then another.
Then three more.
A customer walks up to me near the oranges, eyeing another shopper who has a small dachshund trotting beside their cart.
Customer: "Are dogs even allowed in here?"
Manager: "Make sure you fill out your performance review form before the end of the day."
Me: "I'll get to it when I can."
Manager: "As long as it's today."
Me: "The schedule has me working five patients, but the reality is I have nine."
Manager: "You can find some time on your break."
A woman in her late 30s is browsing racks near the fitting rooms while I restock folded jeans on a display. She picks up a pair of high-waisted jeans, checks the tag, and scoffs.
Customer: *Loudly.* "Oh, come on. XXL? Really? Since when did we start selling circus tents?"
Mom: "I said PG only. That means no Deadpool, no Game of Thrones, and definitely no Tarantino!"
Dad: "They’re fine! We watched stuff like that growing up, and we turned out okay."
Mom: "You watched Alien at eight and couldn’t eat eggs for a year."
It's a Saturday night showing, in a packed movie theater for a big anticipated horror release. The movie is tense and silent, building an atmosphere of dread.
And then a couple near the front start arguing amongst themselves. Talking. Not whispering. Talking.
Guy: "This is salted! I wanted sweet popcorn!"
I work in a cold slab ice cream place. A customer has made an order. He watches as I mix a scoop of vanilla with strawberries and graham cracker crumble on the cold marble slab. It’s a smooth process, practiced, quick, and clean. The customer is frowning.
Customer: "Wait, wait. You’re putting it on the counter? You’re mixing it right on that thing?"
I am with a colleague waiting to get on the plane. We get to the point where they check boarding passes to get onto the plane, and my colleague, with a smile on his face asks the woman scanning the boarding passes out on a date on Saturday night. To the massive surprise of everyone […]
A new lawyer has started working in the office and he has zero common sense. We often will reuse old documents as a template and just change the pertinent details so it’s very important auto save is turned off in case we need the original document for something. I personally just have a folder labeled […]
(Due to digestive issues, I’m only just getting to discover cheese in my 20s. On one shift I end up restocking the cheese aisle with a coworker who is known to be mad about cheese, so I decide to get some recommendations.) Me: I’ve only just started trying cheese. What should try next? Coworker: What’s […]
This is an anecdote from my teenage years in air cadets this one time I was out at a Summer Camp out in 19 Wing Comox. Lots of Cadets from various squadrons across Canada and it’s provinces attended these summer camps and some summer camps had specific subjects of experience and knowlage impaired to the […]
I am an accountant but earned a living part of the year in my earlier days. I was building a deck for my wife’s son and his wife at their new house. Previously, I had done several other carpentry projects to the inside of their house before they moved in, and built a shop building […]
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